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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2013 22:19:27 GMT -5
ERMAHGERD the character is pretty and nice! She's a GOOD character why does it seem like u guys diss her?
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Post by Evelyn on Aug 31, 2013 22:21:47 GMT -5
Because she is a Sue. That's why.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2013 22:24:37 GMT -5
I don't get it u guys call EVERYONE a sue but they're not, she's just pretty and skilled!
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Post by pinkycrystal on Aug 31, 2013 22:28:44 GMT -5
That's half the reason we diss Zoe. Her name for a start.
Zoe DREAMRAIN. Nobody has that surname in real life. Second, she's described as pretty. It's fine that you want a pretty character, but you've overdone it. She has no flaws whatsoever, she's apparently good at everything(except being practical in dress), she is apparently so special in your eyes, and I found her to be a very annoying Mary Sue. I ran her through the Mary Sue test and she got 90. I can post a picture of the results if you want.
Please give her more flaws besides the tendency to giggle and being impractical. In a balanced character, there are almost an equal amount of flaws and merits. Oh and, your character is always in the spotlight. She was the first to arrive, apparently very popular, the one to unlock the shelter, the first to be kidnapped.... And your character does not seem to pay attention to the others.
Oh and, that suit. Do you have any idea how impractical that ing would be in real life? And why is everything so pink?
Anyway, end rant.
We would appreciate your character more if she had more flaws besides giggling and being impractical.
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Post by pinkycrystal on Aug 31, 2013 22:29:19 GMT -5
We do not call everyone a Sue.
Oh and, the more you insist she is not a Sue, the more we will view you as a Denial Suethor. If you really wanted to improve, you would take what we've said into account.
I know we sound really mean, bitchy and too critical, but we take role playing as a way to practice writing skills. And although you should have fun, that should be taken seriously. And don't worry. We all started out creating Mary Sues too. And we may still accidentally do but we always go back and correct these mistakes.
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Post by Evelyn on Aug 31, 2013 22:31:41 GMT -5
I guess maybe you like pink, but that is not a good enough excuse. I think you should emphasize that your character is a bit silly and shallow a little bit more, maybe elaborate on the fact that she isn't stealthy and can't hide very well, therefore somehow not being able to escape in a situation where secrecy and stealth is required.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2013 22:31:57 GMT -5
I was just trying to make a nice character u guys!
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Post by Evelyn on Aug 31, 2013 22:32:17 GMT -5
Nice? Oh, she's nice.
Too nice.
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Post by pinkycrystal on Aug 31, 2013 22:34:13 GMT -5
The more you try to excuse your character as a non Sue, the more we will see her as a Sue.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2013 22:35:46 GMT -5
But. I. Sill. Don't. Get. It. !!!
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Post by Evelyn on Aug 31, 2013 22:36:01 GMT -5
Unfortunately that is the truth.
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Post by pinkycrystal on Aug 31, 2013 22:36:35 GMT -5
You'll learn.
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Post by Evelyn on Aug 31, 2013 22:37:55 GMT -5
By the way, not all characters have to be 'amazang' or 'speshul'. They just need to be well developed and have reasonable traits, skills and weaknesses.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2013 22:38:21 GMT -5
But come on ZOE's stuff match up I'm sure u guys have noticed geez!
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Post by pinkycrystal on Aug 31, 2013 22:39:07 GMT -5
No. Just....no.
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