Is your character a Mary Sue?

[Misha]

We do understand she has flaws BUT

With Yvonne I don't think you've explained her flaws yet to be honest

With Zoe her flaws are minor in my opinion also being giggly isn't really a flaw. A flaw is, and I quote from a dictionary, "A mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object." and being giggly isn't an imperfection or fault. It doesn't effect them in a bad way. Being impractical one the other hand is a flaw but since we rule out giggly it leaves you with only one flaw. I don't say this to annoy you, we've all made characters which aren't the best. All I was trying to say in my post above is instead of getting angry when people tell you your character is a Mary Sue or when they tell you to add a flaw, try and take it on board because I swear to you, everything Ember, Pinky and I have been saying is meant to be constructive criticism but you're taking it the wrong way. We're not telling you what your characters should be like, we're not forcing you to make Zoe or Yvonne in a way that we want, we're just suggesting you some things to help you make the best character possible.

[Evelyn]

Anyway, there's this short story we have to write for class, and we had to create it using a form that sort of looks like a roleplay application. I'll post it here, you guys can tell me what you think.
Name: Jaqueline Adams
Appearance: Short, cropped, sort of glossy dark brown hair with a fringe that reaches three quarters of the way to her eyes. She has pale, porcelain skin and has large chocolate brown eyes with long lashes. Her eyebrows are fairly low and of medium thickness. Her lips are fairly thin and rather dully-coloured. She is of average height and fairly slim, but not noticeably so. She has a bluish birthmark on her arm that sort of resembles a bruise and is easily mistaken for one.
Clothes: A dress with a shortish red top part that has frilled , flouncy sleeves and a v-neck. There is a black strap around the middle (which is rather high) which separates the 'top' from the 'skirt', a rather narrow black skirt that flounces out only at the bottom to avoid restricting movement. She is wearing a pair of black pumps, which are fairly shiny and has low-medium heels.
Personality: She is an ambitious girl, a little arrogant and argumentative but has a spark of creativity. She is usually confident and sticks to what she believes even when under pressure. She is often determined to get her way. Not often dutiful, but will do a task for something in return. She is often a little bit picky about her friendships and what she takes/doesn't take. She is not always the nicest of people, sometimes unreasonably. Sometimes she is selfish and jealous but is not the type to hold grudges but doesn't often forgive.
Skills: She is creative and often innovative and is confident with what she does, thinks and acts. A fairly good runner, she is quick and ready to move, though usually she does not take anyone with her. She is not always the most loyal friend but is a fun and rather vivacious, sometimes almost wild one.
Age: 17

[Deleted]

Eh, she's ok, but she looks a bit weird in my opinion, is it meant to be liek that?

[pinkycrystal]

Sept 1, 2013 16:04:23 GMT -5 Misha said:

We do understand she has flaws BUT

With Yvonne I don't think you've explained her flaws yet to be honest

With Zoe her flaws are minor in my opinion also being giggly isn't really a flaw. A flaw is, and I quote from a dictionary, "A mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object." and being giggly isn't an imperfection or fault. It doesn't effect them in a bad way. Being impractical one the other hand is a flaw but since we rule out giggly it leaves you with only one flaw. I don't say this to annoy you, we've all made characters which aren't the best. All I was trying to say in my post above is instead of getting angry when people tell you your character is a Mary Sue or when they tell you to add a flaw, try and take it on board because I swear to you, everything Ember, Pinky and I have been saying is meant to be constructive criticism but you're taking it the wrong way. We're not telling you what your characters should be like, we're not forcing you to make Zoe or Yvonne in a way that we want, we're just suggesting you some things to help you make the best character possible.

THANK YOU!!! That's what we've been trying to say the whole time.

[pinkycrystal]

And Embef, I've run your character through a few tests and all the scores look good to me.

[Evelyn]

Alright, thanks. I did as well, the results were ok.

[Deleted]

U guys stop criticisinh

[Deleted]

What Laura said.

[Deleted]

Well guys thx for the support I didn't realize ppl on this forum are LIEK this...

[Deleted]

Sorry I mean LIKE something failed with my spellcheck.

[Deleted]

Trixie, it IS awkward that that was the most important word (well its in ALL CAPS so I believe it is) and you misspelt it...

[Misha]

Trixie can you explain to me please explain to me what we exactly did to you?

[Deleted]

U guys were mean

[pinkycrystal]

...And?

Please elaborate.

[Evelyn]

Yes, we'd like to know what we're doing wrong