My Mortal

[Evelyn]

(That's really true.)

[pinkycrystal]

(Ember are you gonna post the next part? Because I have my next part sorted already.)

[Evelyn]

Sorry, it's on the computer as a word file, may take a while

[Evelyn]

Chapter 17.
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a goff den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a goff or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz sakura isn't rely a sue. Swan plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!
Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Rosile kept shooting at us to power outage back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Rosile?" I shouted angrily. "Duck off you djucking harsh words." Well anyway Sakura came. Rosile went away angrily.
"Hey princess you look kawaii." she said.
"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Sakura’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short red sparkly corset-thingy with whited lace on it and a white skirt so she luked like snow wite and wuz supa prettah, and white high heels and her outfit showed of her fugyure. She had a really nice body She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.
"So r u going 2 da concert wif Harry?" she asked.
"Yah." I said happily.
"I'm gong with Tricycle." she anserred happily. Well anyway Harry and Tricycle came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Tricycle was wearing a black t-shirt that said '888' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like olano. Harry was wearing jeans, a isengard t shirt and black boots he got from a concert. Shine’star Loretta was going 2 da concert wif Fairio. Fairio used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were Sueists. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Susism and he went stu. He was in Grifindor now. He was wearing a black t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair purple streekz in it. We kall him Fairio now. Well anyway we al went 2 Harry's black Sue-Bens that his dad Jamie gave him. Harry and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking goffs. We soon got there….I gapsed.
Olano was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. We watched him sang isengard. Sudenly olano polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly goffpy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Harry. Harry and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!
"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Sicky, I told u to kill Angelo. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Harry!"
"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.
Sudenly a stuist old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung silver hair and a looong silva bread. He wus werring a blue and silva robe dat sed Justin bieber on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!

[pinkycrystal]

CHAPTER 18

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a Fukien goth! fangz 2 swan 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a goth. fangz for muh barfrobe! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be pweppy so der!

I woke up the next day in my princess bed. I walked out of it and put on some gold eyeliner, blue eyesharrow, orange lipstick and a silver really high-cut cotton dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my new pink belt with lilac ribbons. I was wearing a heart moodring with rainbow sparklesueflakes and yellow stones outside it.

(Da night before Harry and I rent back to the scool(geddit? Cuz I'm so cool). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our blooms(geddit? leik Orland Blooom?). Mine was blue and the bloom-stuff was strawberry-red. There was shoelace all over it. Harry had a neon green olano bloooom boom. We went back to our rooms and we had mcdonalds to a On Direction song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grated Cheese Hall. There all da walls were painted orange and da tables were pink too. But you fould see that there was blak pant underneath the orange pant. And there were pastors of posers everywhere, like Amy Lee and My Chemical Romance.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to Shine'star Loretya and Sakura. Shine'star Loretta was wearing a purple and green polo that said The Wanted, white leggings and gray pointy boots. Sakura was wearing a long preppy yellow dress with red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and golden boots and green leggings.

Angelo, Fairio and Harry came. We started to talk about who was sixier, Mickey Mouse or Olano Bloooom or Ken frm Barby. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so fudging hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a preppy old man with a pink beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had porcelain white skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare pink.

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Slythhhherin started to cheer. Well we preps just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We could believe what a poser he was!1.

"BTW you can call me Alberta." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a ducking poser!" Harry lamented as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Angela looked really jealous. I could see him crying rainbow snowflakes in a preppy way but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Sakura shouted.

I was so fudging happy.

[Deleted]

Omg dis is awesome...like in a good way

[pinkycrystal]

Thank you. What are your favourite parts so far? Are there any inside jokes you'd like us to include? Do you have any questions?

Please tell us!

Oh and, for those who weren't here when users Antisue and Enobyravenway were, you might not understand a few of the jokes(like the 'olano bloooom' joke). So if you want any explanations, feel free to ask!

Flames are welcome.

[Evelyn]

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken goff n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 swan 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so ducking not today off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da Justin Beaver concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room excitedly to cut classes. Harry was being all cool.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying in happiness and angst at da sam time (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

"No one ducking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his blonde hare went in his big pink eyes. He was wearing purple and green stripy paints, a goilden and siva OlaNOOoOOooOoOooo t-shirt and a red sparktie. (geddit insted of tie koz im suitist) I was wearing a loooooooooooooong white and god top with pinky sparkly harts all over it all over it a sky blue shimmering pants, silva high held shos and a star belly fing. My hair was al up in a pwetty long pretty lovely beutiful siky hastyle

"Accuse me? What about me!" I asked gentlay.

"Buy-but-but-" he sakd.

"You ducking harsh words!" I elled in angst.

"No! Wait! It's not what it ducking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Harryyyyr banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my sparkling eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Layra in da nvideo Suegurls (dats me and Swans awsum vid!!!!)

Suddenly rosile came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a ducking shock!" I shouted angrily "Wtd do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Rosale. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Harrry but it was Dumblydore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his sparkling green wannabe suitist purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who justa biiiiiiebara r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of suis and stus were going 2." He said. "Anyway Harry has a surprise for u."

[pinkycrystal]

CHAPTER 20

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok gothz!1 fangz 2 swan 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in penshlvania 4 da nex 263 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a pink denim mini, a yellow corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an white lotita healed boots.

Olano Blooooooooooom was gong 2 do the play again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one.

I tattooed my wrists while I danced  2 classical music  in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum pink clothes and dancing to Furr Elese. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Harry so we could hav MakDunalds again.

"Wut de ducking sue r u doing!" I shouted cheerfully. It was Loopin! "R u gonna power outage rap with me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pepsi.

"No, actshelly kan I plz burrow sum chicken nuggtss?." he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can et wif  ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fukien." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some blue eyesharow, green eyeliner with peach sparkles, and some red lipstick and red and purple foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, eatin chickn nugetts and Dobby was watching!1

"Oh my sue you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted happily when they saw me.

Dobby ran away crying.

Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz eaten cicken ngets but both of them were duking goffs. (btw snake is movd 2 slyyythereen now)

"WTF is that why u wanted chicken nuggets?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my violet camera with green stars and took a pic of them.

U could see that they were eatin and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to pinkmail(geddit? Lck blakmale but bcz Imma prep iz pnk) u." I giggled. "So now next time you see me eating chickn nuggts with my boyfriend you cant duking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork.

So fudge off, u idiots!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it.

Well anyway, I went outside and there was Angelo, looking extremely ducking hot.

"WTF where'd Harry?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a ducking idiot. He told me he wouldn't com."

Angelo said shaking his hed. "U wanna com with me? 2 the play?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a purple car. He said his dogfather Serious Blake had given it 2 him.

The license plate on the front sed OLANO999 on it. The one on da back said 'SICKY' on it.

…... ... ... ...I gasped.

We flew to the play hall. Olano blom wwas there, playing. Angelo and I began 2 make out, dancing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at dem.

I almost had an organic. Orleno was so ducking cold! He begin 2 sing 'They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard' and his sixah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. …...And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Vampire, cryin in a corner.

[Evelyn]

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat birch Swqan cuz it fok u goffs!1 woopz soz sawan fangz 4 da help. btw pzrrrris rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da towa!

Later we all went in the school. Harry was crying in da common room. "Harry" are u okay?" I asked in a corcerned, happy optimtic voice.

"No I'm not u duking batch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a excited stulike way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit stucide

"Its ok Sicky." said Angelo comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go duck him wont you!" I shouted cunninglah. Then I ran 2 get Harry. Angeloo came too.

"HAray please come!" he began to cry. Tears of sparklejuce came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den duk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Angeloo got out his pink invincibility coke and also the red and gold striped straw. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, laughing and yelin angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Cleanstuff come. He went unda da invisibility coke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No have a nice day u you goffik little flawtist sun of a fukcing batch!" Angelo said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Cleqantsuuff meow. "Cldanstuff is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then….ANgelo frenchea me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da coke!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw harry laughjin n bustin in2 tearz and putting makup outside of da school.

"HARY!" I cried. "R u okay?"

"I guess though." Harry weeped. We went back to our seds (gettit sue bedsa0 frenching each other. hqaarry and I decided to watch Lotr and olano was awsumum and sexah (c isnt da suiist) on the suitist purple and yelo bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and corneli and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

[Deleted]

Oh I love the Sicky part nice edit.

[pinkycrystal]

(Sorry for not putting in the next part when I said I was going to but I accidentally deleted the document so it may have to wait till tomorrow)

[pinkycrystal]

(Sorry for taking so long!)

CHAPTER 22

AN: stfu! goffs stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz swan's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding swan u fokieng rok goffz suk!1

All day nobody talked about the Misery of Magic.

Well anyway, I woke up the next day.

I was in my princess bed so I opened the white lacy kurtins. I was wearing lavender lacey silk pajamas with red high healed slipppperz nd A tiara. i Waz also holding my flffy ponk prinzess care Bear. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where…. Shine;star Loretta, Angela, Tricycle, Harry, Fairio and Sakura!1!

I opened my glitterrh pink eyes. Sakura was wearing a flOty peech lace top with pictures of Twylight Sparkle all over it. Under that she wart a urple poofy skirt wit lace on it and orange cowgurl boots that make her luck leik Woooody frm toy Storey. Anglo was wearing a baggy One Durection t-shirt and baggy jean pants and Converse. Harry was wearing a black Olano Bloooom t-shirt and yellow jeans and a red cardiigen lik mine. He looked just likee Olano Bloooom, and almost as fudging sixty. Angelo looked like Juztin Beeber. Shine'star Loretta  was wearing a pwety teel poofy preppy dress that she had tie died it wih red and a white apron that said 'princess' and other pretty words and  lyrics of Theyre Taking the Hobbits 2 Izengarde on it kind of like one dress I had seen Alice in Wonderland wear once.

Brightness(who is Jenny) was there too.

She was weaving a tye--died brown dress with pail blue lace all over it and a lace-up top thing and green pointy boots. So were Lobster and Boil.

It turns out that Brightness, Tricycle, Lobster and Boil's dad was a suepire. He tattooed his wrists with pikturss of razors and dyed.

He had wrote rap sings them and stuff before too. They all got so happh that they became preppy and converted to Sueism.

"OMSG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why are u all here?"

"Sicky something is really ducked up." Harry said.

"OK but I need to put my preppy clothes on first." I shouted happily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so beautiful." Harry said in a sixty voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all serective."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some silver eyeliner, pink lipstick and yellow eyeshadow and orange foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow.

A goff called Britney from Slytereen was standing next to us. She was wearing a black mini and a Amy Lee t-shirt so we put up our index fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.

Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR GANDALFNESS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WONT KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Silky Bright'ness Dyslexia Swan Bloom."

Harry, Lobster,Boil, Brightness, Sakura, Angelo and Shine'star Loretta looked at each other…... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I gasped.

[Misha]

I laughed, quiet a lot actually, especially at the Rumbridge and Dumbledore bit

[Evelyn]

Gandalfness? What was it originally?